How do you explain race and the weight it carries in a language that lacks racial terminology? How do you communicate your racial experience when your level of fluency isn’t high enough?

My first conversation in Chinese about race took place sitting on my friend’s bed while we peeled and ate pomegranates with her Chinese roommate. At that point, we had been in Hangzhou for about three weeks and were still struggling to articulate coherent statements in Chinese on a regular basis. I was telling my friend about how my roommate had only recently discovered that I am Black. Her roommate overheard us and exclaimed: “You’re a black person?! But you’re so white!”

In Chinese, there is no word for “tan,” “beige,” or “light-skinned.” You are either “白 (white)” which means very fair in color, or you are “黑 (black)” which can be even the slightest shade of tan. During my spring semester in Hangzhou, one of the Chinese roommates was nicknamed “Little Black” because he was tanner than all of them. Yet oddly enough, to be considered an actual Black person you have to be very, very dark-skinned.

In my very fragmented language, I tried to explain that Black people come in all sorts of shades and have a wide range of different physical characteristics. The disbelief on her face prompted me to show her a family portrait. Upon seeing my parents, she still insisted I was the palest among them. She seemed to be trying to comfort me. Her behavior indicated she did not want me to call myself “dark,”most likely because in the eyes of China’s beauty standards, it would be similar to calling myself “ugly.”

She then asked me: in African-American culture, is it better to be lighter or darker? The question made a gross discomfort rise within me. During times of slavery, lighter-skinned slaves were “treated better” and allowed in the master’s house. This elevation of lighter-skinned Blacks and superficial level of acceptance created tensions within the community that still exist today, particularly among Black women. For example, Kanye West made a casting call for only “multiracial-looking women.” Another example is the stereotype that all light-skinned girls are stuck-up. It is because of issues of colorism that growing up I always felt unaccepted and detached from other Black girls my age. But in the eyes of my friend’s roommate, color is only a “beauty choice.” I felt myself struggling to answer. Is there a word for “colorism” in Chinese? How do I explain that Eurocentric beauty standards are a part of Black women’s oppression, both in the United States and globally?

Although my language didn’t help the situation at the time, I later discovered that racial language is almost nonexistent in China. Why wouldn’t it be? Most people in China do not see a foreigner, or even someone who looks racially different from them, their entire lives. In comparison, America is one of the most racially diverse countries in the world, and therefore our language developed the ability to describe, explain and define racial experience.

I also came to understand that race is perceived differently in China. Without a doubt, racism exists in China, but it is different from America’s particular brand of it. In Chinese culture, for example, the nickname “Little Black,” although highly problematic in American culture, is just a term of endearment and a lighthearted way to describe someone’s appearance. Another Chinese roommate was nicknamed “Little Fat” because he was slightly more overweight than everyone else. In China, if your skin looks dry or you’ve lost weight, people will comment on it. There is not as much sensitivity towards discussion of appearance in their culture. That said, in China, there is a hierarchy of how foreigners are treated and White people are clearly at the top.

Towards the end of my study abroad in China, I had to give a presentation to a class of forty students at another Chinese university. Since I was the only student who had been in the program for a year, my teacher thought it would be a good idea for me to share my experiences with  the class. Although I felt a bit scared, I decided I would discuss how I experienced life as a light-skinned Black person in China. I wanted to try again to explain race and microaggressions in Chinese, but I didn’t want to make it seem as if I were attacking China or Chinese culture. So I made this section of my speech humorous. I didn’t use any complicated language or try to look up any special terms. Using only the fluency I had, I tried my best to simply poke fun at the absurdity of some of the situations I’d been in.

The students ended up really enjoying my presentation and laughed at all of my jokes! I was so worried it would be awkward, or that I wouldn’t be able to explain things correctly. However, the audience welcomed the casualness of my speech and my use of popular slang. I’m not sure if any of the students took away anything more than a couple of laughs from my presentation, but regardless, I definitely felt better finally being able to put everything I’d experienced  out in the open. I also learned humor is a language everyone can understand.

 

Kayla Gaskin is a creative-writing, music loving, big boots wearing multiethnic black Aquarius with an addiction to sweets and Buzzfeed videos. She has traipsed all over Southern China & Taiwan, and since become a travel and adventure enthusiast. Her major is East Asian Languages & Literatures with a translation studies concentration – and although she is not quite sure yet what path she wants to walk…her hope is to continue spreading cultural awareness and helping others in whatever way she can.

by