As I prepared for my semester abroad in Madagascar, I heard many warnings and pieces of advice from my family and friends: “Don’t drink the water!” “Hide your money.” “Did you know every person eats 2lbs of rice per day?”

But the most challenging part of my experience abroad wasn’t about health, safety or food – it was learning to adapt to a new culture. Throughout my semester I lived with many different people and experienced many different cultures, but there was one specific instance with which I struggled most.

I spent a week living in the village of Antanandava in the Tandroy region of Madagascar. The Tandroy region is one of the poorest in Madagascar, since the sub-arid climate makes it hard for any food to grow. For this week, another student from my study abroad program, a boy named Harrison, and I lived in Antanandava with very little outside contact. Harrison and I were lifelines to each other – familiar faces in an unfamiliar place. Yet as the week wore on, the differences in how he and I were treated became painfully obvious.

Tandroy culture is highly patriarchal. As a woman and a Smithie, I have always been a staunch feminist. This situation put my personal beliefs at odds with my desire to respect the local culture. My first test came when during our first meal together, our host parents suggested that Harrison and I serve ourselves first. Traditionally, the women at a meal serve the men first, eldest to youngest, and then the women may take food from eldest to youngest. The offer for Harrison and me to eat first was because we are vazaha, or white foreigners. We didn’t want any preferential treatment because we are white, so we insisted that traditions be followed. For me, this meant taking my place on the bottom of the totem pole and allowing the men to be considered above me. This was a relatively easy pill to swallow. Some of the other differences, like our separate duties when farming, were clearly split along gender lines but not obviously sexist. So initially, I think I adapted quite well.

The most difficult challenge for me came halfway through the week. Our village received news that a relative living in a nearby city had passed away. It was an extremely sad and painful time for all of Antanandava. There are certain customs surrounding the local culture of mourning. All of the men in the village, including my host father and Harrison, sat for days under the shade of the tree at the center of our village and discussed where the dead girl would be buried. All of the women, including myself, cooked for and served the men. Our kitchen was a small wooden hut for cooking and preparing food which often entirely filled with smoke from the fire. I soon began to resent the fact that as I sorted rice, ground corn, chopped vegetables and developed a cough that would persist for months, Harrison lounged in the shade and ate food I prepared. On a few occasions I literally served food and water to the male elders. It took everything in my power to swallow my pride and play my clearly inferior role.

My anger, however, was directed at the system – not at any of the individuals. If I had encountered a rude, sexist man who raved about female inferiority, it would have been easy for me to stand up for my gender and argue. But everyone I met was excited to meet me and to share their lives. Neny, my host mother, loved leading me around and teaching me new tasks. So if I truly wanted to experience life in Antanandava, how could I begrudge them for treating me how any other woman would be treated?

I never answered that question, and I don’t have any take-away lesson for you, the reader. I never gave a passionate speech on feminism or protested the unequal treatment. Should I have? I don’t know … but for me, my time in Antanandava was not a time for me to force my worldview on others. It was my time to set aside my own preconceived ideas and to come as close as possible to understanding life in another culture. And as difficult as it was, I changed and grew as a person.

She is a senior biology major and geology minor at Smith College. She is very passionate about marine ecology, geo-biology and environmental conservation. She is also a member of Groove A Cappella at Smith, and she loves scuba diving and white water kayaking.

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