Date: June 6, 2000
From: Gregory Velichansky (hmaon@bumba.net)
Subject: (none)

slut slut slut slut whore whore

-vaitarani
Date: June 7, 2000
From: Samantha Henig (acantha123@hotmail.com)
Subject: I HATE YOU

you disgust me. you and your "look at me at a women's college i'm so cool la dee da" bull shit. get back in the kitchen where you belong you no good overgrown feminist freaks.
Date: June 7, 2000
From: Ttttimbo@aol.com
Subject: Who the hell do you think you are?

How dare you even put this shit onto the internet, you freaks. You put your bull shit up onto the web, and are as we speak ruining the lives of young impressionable children with your goth crap. What you two need is to go home and get some good, strong men and settle down and stop pulling the shit that you're up to now
Date: June 8, 2000
From: Coelo (coelo@home.com)
Subject: Your site sucks.

To Whom It May Concern,

Your site is ill inspired and nonsensical.
I have seen finer offerings from preschoolers.
You should be flogged and burned in front of your peers.

I remain disenchanted.

-Coelo
Date: June 8, 2000
From: Kevin Doherty (kdoherty@cosanostra.net)
Subject: Why everyone should hate Jess and Laura

Jess and Laura: I have written the following to be posted on your hate mail page. It details exactly why I hate you and why everyone else should hate you too. Thanks, and I hate you.

I know this is supposed to be all cutesy and "oo look at us, we're so fucking clever, we created a webpage about people hating us, we're comic geniuses", but let's face facts: like every piece of shit flung by some retarded glue sniffing monkey against the wall we call the World Wide Web, this page has undoubtedly been done before. (and by much smarter monkeys!)

I can just imagine Jess and Laura thinking of all the WACKY and ZANY things they could put up. "Oo we're so cute and funny, we could get little kids to hold up a banner saying they hate us, never thinking of how we're exploiting their youthful innocence for second-rate humor on a third-rate communications medium hosted at a fourth-rate liberal arts college."

And I know the hate mail gimmick is just part of the act, but let me be crystal clear: I HATE JESS AND LAURA. I hate the smirking tone of their web page, I hate the incessant obscure references (Nobody ever watched The State! That's why it got cancelled, dumbass!), and I REALLY hate the stupidass pictures of them that confront me on every part of this website.

Heck, even the Pope hates Jess and Laura! It's true, he sent them to hell after they pissed on the Vatican! Well, maybe that was Ozzy, but the fact remains that the Pope hates Jess and Laura, and you should too.

Now you don't have to hate Jess and Laura because they beat up the elderly. You don't even have to hate them for getting children in kindergarten addicted to heroin. It's like the girl in that MTV commercial about voting (and hating Jess and Laura): "I vote [and hate Jess and Laura] because I don't have a good reason not to vote [and hate Jess and Laura]."
Date: June 11, 2000
From: Hardrock Llewynyth (hardrock@speakeasy.org)
Subject: hate mail

Ugh. What a hideous site. Trained monkeys could do better.

While i realize that i should hate Jess and Laura with a fervent, unreasoning passion; i am not sure i can.

I mean, they are vile creatures spewed from the anus of the lowest demon in hell; but damn, how can you hate someone that looks that good in tight vinyl?

Hardrock
Date: June 12, 2000
From: ptaav (ptaav@NETVA.com)
Subject: (none)

to be honest, i never believed this web shit. your page merely illustrates my point. this piss poor page, and the piss poor people who wrote it, provide us conclusive proof, that we strayed somewhere around the time of the printing press. the 'fucking poetry' shows tha written language only leads to one thing: sin. so, me being the kind, christian guy that i am, i will now pray for your soul.

'oh hear me lord. why must you let such wretched creatures endure? oh why, lord, must you allow these feeble minded slaves of the devil use frontpage express? may you bless them with your guidance, and a case of meningitis. amen.'

thank you jesus, for whatever punishment you dole out to these women.
Date: June 13, 2000
From: Charlene (cbishop@smith.edu)
Subject: suck

Your website sucks. And you suck.
Date: June 14, 2000
From: phatmike@usa.net
Subject: i gots yer hate mail right here

what an infantile excuse for a webpage and an utter waste of time. what the bloody hell are you two thinking, anyway? do you think it is ok to put these random strings of bits on the net for everyone to see? you should be dragged out into the street by your teeth and beaten over the head with a stale loaf of italian bread!

and the poor penguin! what in gaia's name did he do to you?! you put a compromising picture of a penguin on the net, without his consent, no doubt. that just *has* to be a felony in some states.

you two are weird. in some cases, weird can be good, but we are talking 'jeffery dahlmer' weird here.

you took 5 minutes of my life, and i want them back. if you want to see a *real* webpage, check out http://www.geocities.com/drkguy. yeah, it sucks cause its on geocities, but it is immeasurably better than this tripe!

--
"i'm phatmikey, yes i'm the real mikey, all you other phatmikeys are just

imitain', so won't the real phatmikey please sta-- aw screw 
it."
Date: June 16, 2000
From: Taliesein
Subject: DAMNATION IS THE BEAST

I've never met this bitch Jess, but let me tell you about Laura (also known as the Many Headed Beast referred to in that last bit of the bible. I think it's Revelations). She eats babies, and makes five year olds smoke cigars. She tricks otherwise happy people into wearing capes and leaping out of tall windows. She will SHOOT you with her FINGER and you will DIE. She STEALS from COFFEE SHOPS. She sold her soul to THE DEVIL in 1910, and now she is but a puppet! Her mind has ben warped by silly girl bands who whine a lot. SHE LIKES THE CURE. How can you trust a creature like that?? It makes me SICK, thinking that the MIGHTY ANGELS of HEAVEN allow such FILTH to wander the corrupted crust that was EARTH, turning the GOOD and the JUST into GAY PRIDE HIPPIES! She will RAPE YOUR CHILDREN, and KICK YOUR DOG. Stay Away! Get out while you still can! This is not a misguided person, this is a soulless fiend bent on destruction, dessication, and corruption! She will emasculate the manliest of men! She's a woman and she's NOT IN THE KITCHEN! She WEARS SHOES! ALIENS LIVE IN HER SHOES! Do not TRUST her SHOES. They are the Shoes of the Beast, foretold and predicted by many Saints and Holy Men! Southern Baptists HATE HER GUTS, and SO SHOULD YOU! Don't look in her EYES, she will give you LUST, and trick you into the DARK SIDE. She Liked The Phantom Menace! LAURA IS JAR JAR BINKS IN DISGUISE. Laura's evil powers made George Lucas SELL OUT. She made God Hate Me! If you Aren't Carefull, She'll make God Hate YOU!

Kindest Regards,
Siege
Date: June 27, 2000
From: Lynne Elkins (lelkins@smith.edu)
Subject: You want hate mail?

Okay, I just came back and saw all the horrible new additions to this dispiccable website. You both repulse me to the point of near-disgust. I remember Jess - she ate the Holy Child and kept Puff Daddy in her room. Laura may be my pimp, but, well, there you go. Pimps are gross. Laura and Jess both fart AND poop, I know these things. What disgusting replicas of normal examples of humanity. They even made themselves over again in a computer game - successfully! - this only proves that they are horrific robots come to destroy us all. Death!

-Lynne
Date: November 8, 2000
From: GIsissy@aol.com
Subject: uhm OK?

You're all white trash
Date: November 14, 2000
From: FROST3046@aol.com
Subject: Jess/Laura

Hey there! I know this is suppose to be hate mail,but things are not always what they seem. I just wated to tell you that from a 19 males perspective you two are really pretty,so that begs the question,why are you doing this? If it's for your own amusement at what these idiots that don't even know you say,then I fully understand,but you can't possibly believe all that stuff you want everyone else to believe huh? I know you two are way smarter than that. Well I've said all I came to say,so L8TERZ!

FROST
P.S. Write back! :)
Date: November 16, 2000
From: BPickle33@aol.com
Subject: HERE'S A BUTT PICTURE OF BLINK 182

[Unable to display image]
Date: November 16, 2000
From: BarbieSkaNK120@aol.com
Subject: (none)

ummm.......wats the whole point of this website.....its quiet amusing though.
Date: November 28, 2000
From: J420CHicA@aol.com
Subject: ummm.........

what is the point of this web page?



The point's pretty obvious, folks. Jess and Laura are worthy of hatred, and the whole world must know it.


Have you written us hate mail yet?
Do your damn job already.



Get outta here!