spinning

(12-13-00)

i'm sitting here and i'm spinning in myself i'm just spinning my wheels and waiting for a change waiting for some inspiration to come and pull me out of this mudslide of feelings and intensity and lack thereof and the more i leave myself spinning the mud climbs higher up my wheels and i'm covered deep in the squishy black or confusion and love and their names are floating through my sticky mind as music wraps its rain-wet self around my body and just makes more mud as it splashes down into my puddle and i scream out but its dark and no one hears me deep in the vines of heartties and the mud and the rain is pounding down on my head and my body is frozen spinning endlessly in itself and i wait for the sunlight of clarity to dry my mind but the mud will harden and i'll be stuck so i'm either stuck or stuck i guess, great choices, but its cold and wet and dark in here maybe i'd rather be stuck and not spinning and the music drips down my temples as the sweaty sun climbs higher and higher and my wheels stop spinning but i've been standing here still so long i cant move them before they're stuck again and i wait for the rain so i can maybe start spinning again and hopefully roll out of this dry mudspot for once and know what i'm doing and where i'm going or at least be on my way somewhere instead of just spinning.