“Kindfulness” in Group B

 

 

One 2015 study [in the American Journal of Public Health] that tracked kindergartners to young adulthood found that individuals with good prosocial skills — behavior that is positive, helpful and friendly — tended to be more successful as adults than those who did well in subjects like reading and math but lacked the ability to get along with others.                        ~Richard Schiffman, “Can Kindness Be Taught?” NYT, December 15, 2017

Many of us here at Fort Hill have been following the implementation of a “Kindness Curriculum” by researchers from the University of Wisconsin –Madison. The Kindness Curriculum is a 12-week mindfulness-based prosocial skills training which was designed for preschool-age children. The foundation of the Kindness Curriculum, which was developed with The Center for Healthy Minds at UW-M, is “mindfulness practice, aimed at cultivating attention and emotion regulation, with a shared emphasis on kindness. (Flook, Goldberg, et al, Developmental Psychology, 2015)

 

As you know, teachers and administrators at Fort Hill are devoted to supporting children’s social and emotional development and health, and these goals are integrated into almost every aspect of children’s experiences at school – from our emphasis on relationships and creating opportunities for many kinds of connections and communities, to our curriculum and project decisions, to the materials we choose, the way we arrange our classrooms, and much more. Here in Group B, we are also interweaving “kindfulness” into our mindful practices at circle time.

Morality is not just something that people learn, argues Yale psychologist Paul Bloom: It is something we are all born with. At birth, babies are endowed with compassion, with empathy, with the beginnings of a sense of fairness. (Gareth Cook interview, Scientific American, 2013)

 

 

Every year our classrooms are different. Even when there are very few changes, the dynamics of the new group has the potential to subtly or sometimes dramatically transform the classroom. This year, Nora and I notice that we have a group of children who exhibit an instinctive tendency towards kindness and empathy. This does not mean that there is no room for a full range of feelings to be expressed and difficult emotional days to be experienced, but there is often a marked degree of forbearance, willingness to solve conflicts, and the desire to be helpful going on quite naturally within our community. Perhaps because of this, the children really seem to enjoy the “heartfulness” practices we have introduced to them so far.

A picture for the butterflies

We began this year with the concept of “friendly wishes.” Some examples of friendly wishes are: “May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you have lots of fun. May you have peace.” We invite children to “send” wishes to people that they are thinking about and at the end we send these friendly wishes to ourselves.  This latter part is important because it closes the circle between compassion and self-compassion. Children responded so positively to this practice, often spontaneously engaging in a group hug at the end!

For example, one day, when a child was absent (before the onslaught of flus and stomach bugs), Oshia recorded these lovely “Wishes for LM”:

EP: I hope L has a great home day.

RM: I hope she’s not sick.

LMc: I wish she was here.

RP: I wish she would come to school later and play with me.

M: I wish that she was here to play blocks with me.

T: I wish she was here, and I want her to come to school tomorrow.

O: I hope L is okay at home.

ES: I just miss L.

A: I want L to be here.

W: I wish L has toys to play with at home.

Here is an example of a visualization that we tried recently which seemed to unearth deep emotions for some. I adapted this from the website/blog Blissful Kids.

LOVING-KINDNESS MEDITATION

Purpose: Kindness, Compassion, Positivity, Connection

 

Pick someone in your life that you love, someone that makes you smile. Think about what is special about this person. What about this person makes you feel happy when you think of them?

Now close your eyes and think about this person that you love. Bring your hands to their heart and hold them there, imaging that you are giving that person a warm, tight hug.

When you close your eyes, picture this person’s face. Think about how happy it makes them feel when you hold them close to your heart and hug them. Imagine the smile on the person’s face, they are happy and laughing.

Now, I want you to picture this person doing something that you know they love to do. It is ok if you need a few minutes to think about this. Just take your time and let me know when you are ready.

This person you are thinking of is in a place they love to be. You can almost see them in this place. They are having fun. They are strong and healthy, they are relaxed and smiling. Now imagine that you are walking up to them, giving them a big hug and sending them kind and loving thoughts. When you send kind and loving thoughts, you begin by filling your own heart up with love, so much love that it almost feels like you might burst. Now take that love in your heart and send it out, as a gift to this person. If you want to you can say a friendly wish to that person, like:

May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be peaceful.

We are going to continue by sending kind thoughts to yourself. First let’s give ourselves a hug. Wrap both arms gently around yourself and give yourselves a nice warm hug.

Close your eyes and send those same kind thoughts to yourself. Feel that same love and kindness that you shared with the person you love. You could say: “May I be happy, healthy and strong.” Or “May I be happy and peaceful.”

 

We have loved exploring these practices with your children in Group B.  Please let us know if you have been hearing about them or try them at home.  If you are interested, you could try this adult version: Loving-Kindness Meditation.

Peace: it does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, no trouble, or hard work.

It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

 

One thought on ““Kindfulness” in Group B

  1. This is such a lovely post, “As you know, teachers and administrators at Fort Hill are devoted to supporting children’s social and emotional development and health, and these goals are integrated into almost every aspect of children’s experiences at school – from our emphasis on relationships and creating opportunities for many kinds of connections and communities, to our curriculum and project decisions, to the materials we choose, the way we arrange our classrooms, and much more.” It speaks to what is truly important in our classrooms and what out world needs more of. Thank you for this, it is always on our minds and in our days, ways to connect in joyful ways and with kindness and because it feels good to do so! And it promotes a positive learning environment.

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