“All humans crave a sense of security.  We need a base from which we can move out into the world and to which we can return when the going gets tough.” (Separation, p7)

Beginning with our home visit to you and your child, whether at the start of this year or in previous years, we began to build an “…important emotional triangle.  If it is a positive, trusting, respectful, consistent one, this three-way relationship of parent-teacher-child fosters in that young child feelings of security in classroom settings, for both present and future.” (Separation, p20).

We are continuing to build on that feeling of security when we help your child separate from you at school, for brief minutes at first and then longer lengths of time, during our ‘phase-in’ period. During this time the child develops the understanding that their parents always come back and that their teachers will support them and care for them until their parent’s return.

“Separation isn’t a one-day event- or even a period that’s over in a few weeks.  It’s an ongoing process of childhood.  Anxiety will not vanish once and forever.”  By observing carefully, responding sensitively, thinking flexibly and avoiding preconceived notions about what the pace of a child’s adjustment should be, we can make the group care setting a positive one where the child thrives. (Separation, p36)  

And even if it brings tears, “good-byes build trust. Saying goodbye each and every time strengthens children’s beliefs that their parents will come back.” (Separation, p30).  Whether your child is new to school or has been here for years, saying goodbye to you in the morning can be tough.  We know how heartbreaking it feels to leave your child in tears, but when they sense from you that you have confidence in their teachers and their environment that everything will be okay, it is easier for them to feel it too.Sometimes a special routine helps; putting away the lunch and washing hands together, then doing a puzzle or reading a book before you go.  Sometimes a child will need a teacher to hold and comfort them, and other times it will be enough for the teacher to engage with them in an activity of interest.  And for most children there will eventually be those times when they will be feeling secure and happy and they will send you off with a hug and a wave as they run to their play, knowing they will see you again later.  We always welcome you to call the school and check in to see how your child is doing, particularly after a tearful goodbye; we know this can help put your mind and heart at ease, to speak with one of us and hear how your child is integrating to their day in the classroom.  Whether your child has fairly easy goodbyes or whether it is more challenging for them to separate (and this can fluctuate), we can see that all of the children in our class have strong attachments to their families which is the most important thing for positive development.

The children are also feeling well connected to us (teachers). For the new children, I feel we have established a solid base and their comfort grows daily.  It is wonderful to see them opening up to us and requesting specific teachers to help them with tasks at certain times, demonstrating those attachments in visible ways.  For returning children, we continue to deepen relationships already established and learn more about each other as we grow and change.  We appreciate your trust and confidence in leaving your children with us every day. We may be professionals in the area of child development, but you are the expert on your child, you are the most important person (people) in their life and we count on your input to make their experience at school a successful one.

It is so meaningful and such a pleasure for us teachers to develop these relationships with you and your children!  Here are a few images from the last few weeks (my apologies that I don’t have images of many of the other wonderful teachers who interact with and care for your children here, there are many!):

Do you have thoughts or questions about separation and goodbyes?  We are happy to talk with you about any concerns you may have and work together to find successful solutions  that will work for your child, your family and us here in the school setting.  Please feel welcome to check in with us in person or by email or phone, anytime!