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Episode 2 // 7 October, 1979 Synopsis Manor Trivia
Second episode of Series 1 (seven episodes)
From The Times: "Audrey moves out of Grantleigh Manor to make way for the new owner, whose background is not at all what she would have chosen. Penelope Keith, doing her turn in last week's opening episode, was so political you could put this in as a Party Political Broadcast--for either party!"
Guest cast: George Tovey, Vincent Brimble (Bert and Arthur, the moving men)

 
M A R J O R Y:
"Marton shot that!"
 
A U D R E Y:
"Not far enough."
 
 
A U D R E Y:
"Brabinger, why are you dressed as Eric von Stroheim?"
 
 
A U D R E Y:
"To think that Grantleigh Manor has come to this: taken over by a costermonger."

There is not universal heavy-heartedness at the thought of Audrey's giving up the reins at Grantleigh. The rector, for one, is barely able to muster a gloomy mien as he discusses with Marjory his plans for carrying on at the church without her guidance. Audrey, however, is in full melancholic flower as she packs her belongings. She has not announced her destination, yet she is ruthlessly paring down her possessions--to the point of splitting a pair of matched statues, one going into the "move" box and the other into a box marked "discard." She also instructs Brabinger to dispose of a ghastly alligator lamp. Marjory protests; "But Marton shot that!" "Not far enough," Audrey grimly replies. "Every year it's the only thing to be returned from the white elephant store." Brabinger proposes leaving it for the new owner. Audrey has also found a multi-panel photograph of her old school class, showing herself and Marjory...and herself again at the other end. "I did it for a bet," she says.

The newspaper brings further bad news: the headline reads "Supermarket king buys manor," and further notes that "self-made millionaire Richard DeVere began his career on a fruit barrow in London's East End." Audrey is horrified: "To think that Grantleigh Manor has come to this: taken over by a costermonger."

The staff assembles on the drive for Audrey's goodbyes; the rector, trying his best, tells Audrey that "As I never cease to remind you in church, 'the meek shall inherit the earth'." Audrey, unimpressed, responds: "And as I never cease to remind you, Rector, the meek don't want it." Brabinger, in his chauffeur outfit, escorts Audrey to her Rolls Royce, and they set off (Audrey at the wheel), headed for...the end of the drive, where they stop and get out at the old lodge. "Oh, golly!" gasps Marjory. "She hasn't bought it...She must have!" The rector's face falls; "Oh, the half was not told me."

Richard, meanwhile, is on his way to Grantleigh, driving with his mother--who, we discover, is not English at all. "It's just like 1939, the day we left Czechoslovakia," she notes tearfully in her thick accent. Richard, exasperated, points out that she feels the same way every time they move, and that he has bought the estate at her prompting. But his mother is upset at the thought of leaving her friends. "You hate all your friends," he reminds her. "One gets attached to them," she sniffs.

Things are at sixes and sevens at the lodge as Audrey and Brabinger settle in. "I regret that we have to share the bathroom, Brabinger," Audrey says, "and I realise that it's a new experience for both of us, but please try to insure that our baths don't cross." She then presents him with his bathtub duck. Her first visitor is Richard's mother, who presents herself on the pretext of needing a bowl of sugar; Brabinger assumes she's the new housekeeper at the manor, and Audrey labours under the same misapprehension until she discovers, in short order, that the woman is actually Richard's mother; that his name is not Richard DeVere but Bedrich Polouvicka; and that he immigrated to England from Czechoslovakia in 1939. Her horror at learning that DeVere is not English is relieved somewhat when he learns he is Czech only on his mother's side; but despairs again when Mrs Polouvicka tells him "His father was Polish." Worse, Mrs Polouvicka, unaware that Audrey is the former owner of the manor, tells all manner of stories of how badly the estate has been run, which she says is common knowledge in the village. ("Common it may be. Knowledge it is not," Audrey says emphatically.)

Richard, far from finding the quiet life he expected, is fending off calls requesting his help in arranging various local social functions, including the "terribly ferocious" Mrs Proctor ("Yes, I think I know what to look for in Miss Dairy Product," he tells one applicant, asking him to judge a beauty contest). When his mother returns, he tells her he's decided to hire a social secretary to handle these arrangements, and she suggests the young ("Forty, fifty...youngish, anyway") widow who has just moved into the old lodge. She needs a job, she says, and has plenty of pizzazz.

Audrey arrives, with the intention of setting Richard straight on his responsibilities as lord of the manor, but he tells her he will soon have a social secretary in place -- the woman at the lodge. Audrey bets him £50 she won't take the job, and returns home to find that Richard's wooing of his potential social secretary has begun-- his mother has sent the alligator lamp over as a housewarming present. But when Richard himself arrives, flowers in hand, to offer her the job (Brabinger announces to Audrey that Richard would like a word with her, and she answers, "Did he say what language it might be in?"), Audrey informs him that she herself is the "fifty-year-old widow with plenty of pizzazz"--and that he owes her £50.

 
A U D R E Y:
"I regret that we have to share the bathroom, Brabinger, and I realise that it's a new experience for both of us, but please try to insure that our baths don't cross."
 

  • Brabinger began his career at Grantleigh as a lamp boy.
  • Richard's social rise has taken him, mother in tow, from Shoreditch to Finchley, then on to Hampstead, and most recently to Mayfair.
  • Audrey's late husband Marton was in India for six months, leaving after a disastrous embassy reception at which he told Nehru his coat was buttoned on the girls' side.
  • Among the functions Richard is asked to host is the Marlbury agricultural show.
  • Marjory's tongue-tied pronunciation of Polouvicka comes out "Mrs. Thingummy."


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